January 2004
MONTREAL’S LES ANGLES MORTS GET ROWDY WITH THE NYC BLACK LABEL BIKE KILL
The Black Label Bike Kill, the first event of its kind in New York, took place on the street of a dead-end block, in front of an elementary school. The event as we understood it was to be a huge afternoon bike rally, climaxing in the evening with a bike joust, followed by an after party, where we would be playing.
The crowd was impressively large, about three or four hundred people; bike couriers, old neighbourhood women, hipsters, children and the crusties who were running things. The most prominent group of crusties were the Black Label Bike Club, an intercity group that invented bike jousting. The whole event, viewed from a block away, looked like a post-apocalyptic world of lawless destruction; though the police drove by, we were told that the Black Label group had gotten a permit somehow.
Along the fenced walls there were 20 or so bikes that were composed of two bicycle frames welded together, to be used for bike jousting. There were many other homemade bicycle creations: chopper bikes that had huge solid forks, bikes with wheels whose axels were off-centre, and many species of low riders. These novelty bikes were being played on and traded between neighbourhood kids, who were riding around the edges of where the events took place.
We had missed the opening event, but saw evidence of it in the form of a bearded punk with a long, bleeding gash across his head being tended to against a fence. The first event we got to see was a bike toss; simply, which drunk punk could throw a road bike the furthest down the street. The winner was an immense member of Black Label who threw the bike with one hand, drinking two beers at once with the other.
The third event was the "dirty mattress contest," in which various people rode double-bikes over a series of dirty mattress while the crowd threw rotten food and beer on them, which quickly degraded into a food fight between the two sides of the street.
Night fell, and the bike joust began. Two riders, one a dreadlocked skid and the other a Black Label member, got on their double bikes holding ten-foot PVC pipes with padded tips and rode at each other from opposite sides of the block. The first riders collided, one landed on his feet, the other on his back, but both were fine. The second riders were two girls. They rode at each other, collided, fell over backwards, landed on their heads, and didn't get up. The police, paramedics and firefighters all arrived, and the event was over. As we walked back to the van, a woman was saying loudly "They were just inexperienced riders. This is totally unprecedented, this never happens." Twenty minutes later we had set up to play in a urine-scented warehouse across the street. Our set was short and sweet, we intentionally played louder and harder and looser than usual to allow the music to conform to the audience. Japanther played right after us. The punks were dancing so hard that the entire floor was shaking and bouncing in time with them.
Right before we said goodbye to Riley (Japanther’s guitarist), he helped us reconcile the whole weekend: "You guys are getting an intense view of Brooklyn. It's not always like this. We don't normally have this much energy." — OWAIN LAWSON, drummer in Les Angles Morts
THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE SPHERES, THEY'RE BRINGING YOU TO TEARS
Sianspheric are currently at work on a DVD to celebrate ten years of self-destruction, white noise, and belligerent semi-Scotsmen. The DVD is promised to contain "interviews, live performances, videos, film work, and the stormy eyes of Locksley Taylor." www.sianspheric.com — BB
SOEUR QUI?
For those of you twitching and drooling for a taste of the Sourkeys' perpetually upcoming debut, hit up their website and wrap your ears around a preview of track number one, "Demon Or Deity”. When will the album come out? Perhaps when society is ready to accept it for what it is: a woman born in a jewel case's body. For now, push back your appointments, pull up a chair, pull down your pants, and pump up the jam. www.thesourkeys.com — BB
DANCING TO THE TWO-MINUTE MIRACLES
Andy Magoffin’s band, the Two-Minute Miracles, came to town for a CD release party on December 5th at Healey’s. Also on the bill were The FemBots and The Great Lake Swimmers, who I missed, but I’m sure they were as beautiful as always. So check this: The Two-Minute Miracles begin their set and these two random chicks just start dancing like they are at a rave in the front row. It was distracting, yet entertaining. They momentarily stole the show. Is it weird that I wanted to smack those girls and make love to them at the same time? www.teenageusarecordings.com — SH
HAYDEN MAKES FRIENDS
Perhaps not considered “in the scene” anymore but let’s face it, Hayden is indie and I often consider him a surrogate father. He popped on stage with Howie Beck early in December and then made a guest appearance with everyone’s friends, Broken Social Scene. Hayden takes his sweet time making records and really it’s for the best because his albums have been exponentially better. New Hayden album out next spring. Err — Summer. Err — Fall. www.hardwoodrecords.com — SH
ANAGRAM BREAK OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF
It’s one thing to cause ruckus in your own town but it’s another to fuck up other towns and that’s what Anagram plan on doing in January by taking their spazzcore on the road. But the antics don’t stop there because they are supported by Comedian Nick Flanagan (better known as “Nick”) and The Patients. The tour starts on January 15th, but please check out appropriate websites for dates. And check out the Anagram EP as well — listening to it makes you feel like you’re getting kicked in the head and the balls at the same time and it’s the best feeling in the world. www.anagramis.cjb.net, www.thepatients.net — SH
SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTCHA
Under the name The Blankket, Steven Kado has recorded a cover of Outkast’s “Hey Ya” (number one single of the year says Pitchfork and myself) and it’s great. You can order it from his recording club BLOCKS BLOCKS BLOCKS. The site is www.blocksblocksblocks.com and you can download the track as well (but don’t be a dick and download it only. If you like it, buy the fucking disc you cock-sucking leech). Sorry about that. In a national unrelated news story: the picture of Saddam being caught looks like my uncle Bernie from Brooklyn. — SH
RETURN OF THE ROYAL CITY
Royal City has Toronto by the balls. Everyone likes them but they only play twice a year so when they do, everyone gets really excited. And everyone was. Their show on December 12th with Sufjan Stevens and the Phonemes was solid. New songs were great, older ones were greater. Some things to consider: Didn’t Simon Osborne look like the bastard child of a Hasidic Jew and an Amish boy and if so, I don’t think anyone else could have pulled it off so nicely. And did anyone else want to hug everyone on stage with Sufjan Stevens? They looked like nice people. www.threegutrecords.com — SH
TORONTO’S BEST FIND OF 2003
“Where the hell is the Old York Tavern?” is probably what most people thought when Les Mouches announced their CD release party with The Bar Mitzvah Brothers. Who would have guessed at 9:45 when I arrived at the show that it would have been at capacity? Luckily, the very kind and indie rockin’ bouncers at the door squeezed in about as many people as physically possible. For those who weren’t there or didn’t get in, it was a fire hazard if I’ve ever seen one. The show was amazing as expected but John Rae Fletcher & The River; the opener from Vancouver was the hidden gem. Who is John Rae? Where did this amazing talent come from? And when is he playing again? Stop fucking reading this and go check out his albums (and Les Mouches). www.deerandbird.com/jonrae.html — SH